


a pounding heart

by Anonymous



Category: Pocket Monsters | Pokemon (Anime)
Genre: Advice, Introspection, Letters, M/M, Realisation, based off of the ending song "kirakira", the pairings can be interpreted in a few ways, video calls
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-07
Updated: 2020-06-07
Packaged: 2021-03-04 03:14:23
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,587
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24586687
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/
Summary: ‘As I plant kisses to my sparkling pocket … Our hearts pound as we sprint forth, no longer can they be stopped ...’Ash reads out a letter from an old friend, which makes Gou think about his own feelings.
Relationships: Citron | Clemont/Satoshi | Ash Ketchum, Gou | Goh/Satoshi | Ash Ketchum
Comments: 9
Kudos: 62
Collections: Anonymous





	a pounding heart

Gou leaned back on his bunk bed, his elbows digging int the mattress as he listened to his researching companion – and Gou tickled pink at the word – friend, read letters aloud.

“Man… I am so bad at replying…!” Ash exclaimed, as he finished reading out all about the recent catches one of friends – Cilan? – had while in Johto? Or was it Kanto… No. It was Johto.

“I’m not good at this writing business… Cilan included a lot of big words, like… fatigue… what does that mean?” He chuckled softly, his legs swinging from the edge of the bunk. Gou watched him from below as he poured over various letters, each from a new name Gou would struggle to memorise, with words of a friendship that touched the writer’s heart.

Ash innocent smile while he read them seared into his mind, almost scalding his heart.

A very simple thought weighed on his mind: Ash had a lot of friends. He made an uncomplicated connection them, and opened up a relationship of trust and camaraderie. Almost effortlessly, with that same gregarious smile on his face.

How can someone share themselves in such an unconscious, freeing way? Gou always painfully felt his conversations with others drag through an awkward sludge of his rigamarole about Pokemon and when he finally noticed the other person was still there, they had completely disengaged. Often, there was an uncomfortable feeling that he was not there, but a ghost who had escaped his body and was watching him make stiff conversation.

He only had that feeling of a face-to-face connection with two people – Koharu, whose default apathy made conversations oddly more comforting, and Ash himself, whose bright eyes drew him into a world so inviting.

Wading deep in his flood of introspection, Gou was only half listening to Ash reading out a few more messages and letters, but they floated in and out through his mind.

“Oh… this one’s from Dawn, oh she won that contest she was in two weeks ago! Dawn was always so hard-working, I’d say she’s doing amazingly…”

Another name.

“Ah… ‘as I plant kisses to my sparkling pocket … Our hearts pound as we sprint forth, no longer can they be stopped’… I didn’t know he was such a poet! Oh yeah, our promise, haha I’ll keep good on that!… You know, he has really grown up so much since we first travelled together…”

Wait.

Kisses…?

Gou sprung forward, his cheeks burning up, as the cogs in his mind spun rapidly in a vain attempt to process what he just heard.

Our hearts? Kisses?

Gou's breathing felt a little shallow, as he tried to figure out why those words struck him so.

“Uh – ah – hmm, who… who sent you that letter, Ash?” He tried to act nonchalant, however social subtleties never came easily to Gou.

“Oh, Clemont?” Ash leaned over the bunk, the letter clutched in his hand. “I met him in Kalos! He was an electric-type Gym leader, but he really taught me the wonders of science! Y’know I never knew much about it beforehand... but science is really, really amazing and so is Clemont!” He clasped his hands together, seemingly caught up in a reverie about Clemont and the discipline of science.

“He made these really – really cool inventions, like… but actually! He reminds me a lot of you, Gou!” Pikachu chipped in, seemingly in agreement on that statement.

“He – what? Really?” Gou felt his cheeks flush scarlet. Would he ever be able to put those feelings into words, on paper… and send it to Ash?

What… were his feelings to Ash? Gou felt his face almost melting with the heat, the words of that letter repeating his mind alongside Ash’s bright, uncomplicated smile.

Did Ash realise what those words meant, the feelings behind them – or what Gou believed what those words meant? Gou didn’t know this boy, Clemont, but he felt so certain of his feelings, as if they resonated in his own heart.

Gou didn’t really know, maybe Ash knew and kept it tucked it away in a corner of his heart, to light him up. However Gou somehow doubted Ash’s mind had connected the dots… Pokemon seemed to cuddle and act affectionately in courtship, Ash would shrug and look at Gou for an explanation. Ash had told him of being kissed on the lips in Kalos by his friend, Serena and his confusion at the gesture, what she had meant by it.

Kisses…

Though to Gou, Clemont’s feelings in those words were as clear as a ringing bell. He felt a belonging to those words, in their soft and sure expression.

“’Our hearts as we sprint forth, no longer can they be stopped’… that’s really… powerful.” Gou said softly in awe, picking at the lint on the blanket. He felt a bit annoyed at himself for his inability to really put his thoughts into words – ‘that’s really powerful’? It felt so stitled, devoid of himself. Unlike this Clemont, who seemed to allow his heart to spill on the pages, who conveyed his feelings so eloquently.

“That’s the strength of our friendship, I s’pose.” Ash told him confidently. He continued to pour through the letters, shifting through them while humming to himself.

Friendship…

Gou’s heart reacted differently – to him, and his heart, those words were…

… one of a boy in love.

* * *

He sat there at the desk, his eyes boring into the webcam, waiting for the recipent on the other line to pick up. Ash was outside, training his Pokemon. Gou quickly glanced out the window, and saw Ash’s upright figure, his fists clenched, with an encouraging grin on his face as his Pokemon battled each other.

He turned back to the laptop, aware his face was going to beetroot red for the video call.

Suddenly, a face flashed on the monitor. A boy with wild, lemon blonde hair and large thin rimmed full-moon glasses appeared on the screen. His blue jumpsuit was slightly tinged at the sleeves. Behind him seemed to be a workshop, possibly within the Gym that Ash mentioned he worked as a Gym Leader in, with several machines, and what seemed to be components of machines scattered across the room.

He could see some natural light come in from above. When he asked Ash about the time differences and the best time to call, Ash after putting his index finger to his lips, told him that Kalos “was about half a day behind” in terms of time, and so their evening time would probably work out the best.

“Oh, hello? Is that Gou?” The boy fixed his glasses a little, and smiled serenely. “It’s so good to meet you! It’s always nice to meet another of Ash’s friends.”

Gou nodded, somewhat awkwardly. Clemont seemed very polite and cordial, though not exactly the image he had of him from his letter.

“Uh… hi. Thanks for um… answering my call,” Gou said, already wishing he had a better turn of phrase than ‘answering my call’, “and um… good to meet you too.”

“Ash was saying you wanted to talk to me about any inventions I have to help catch Pokemon?”

Gou flushed dully, somewhat annoyed at himself of not providing Ash with a better excuse. “Oh… um, yes. My goal is… to catch every Pokemon, but especially Mew.” He continued.

“I think – Pokemon are truly – amazing, there is so much I think I know about them but I’ve found out that really, what I know is minuscule in comparison to what there is to discover about them, I don’t think I’ll ever know all there is to truly know and you know, that amazes me… Pokemon change all the time, and new Pokemon are discovered so frequently nowadays… I try to research as much as possible…”

He just realised. He had rambled at this poor boy who had just met him. “Oh… I am sorry, Clemont, I kind of went off… that happens sometimes…” he bashfully ran his hand up his forehead and through his hair.

“No, no!” Clemont raised his hands to reassure him. “Haha, I see what Ash means now, we are kind of similar… you seem to have a passion for knowledge about Pokemon. That’s wonderful. My passion,” he slapped his hand to his chest, and then shot his arm out to gesture to the machines behind him, his nostrils flaring, “my passion… is inventing! The future is now, thanks to science!” He pulled out a remote and clicked it excitedly.

Nothing happened initially, and Clemont swivelled around expectantly at some complex machine in the corner. It made a sudden noise, and smoke began to rise up from it, Gou was wondering if he should point it out when the machine suddenly imploded. Clemont jumped.

“Ahh! No!! That was my third attempt!!” Clemont placed his hands at his temples, and then realised he was still on a video call. Swivelling the chair around, he coughed a little awkwardly, and blushed.

“Haha… that might look bad… and it was, I guess… but I would like to help you as best I can!” Clemont balled his hands into two fists within the frame of the webcam, to show Gou how earnest he was. “We would just need to discuss specifications and… I suppose the transportation is a factor, too…a gaget that can fold up...”

He watched Clemont swivel in his chair and grab a toolbox that was on a nearby station, rummaging through it to find the appropriate tools, picking up and putting down several screwdrivers of various sizes. Gou shifted in his seat a little. He needed to find a way that this conversation would not elapse into him pretending to understand the technicalities of mechanics and bring it onto the real topic.

The one he actually had in mind…

“Do you – do you like Ash?” Gou blurted out, and then clarified quickly, “As in, do you have a crush on Ash?”

For a moment, Clemont stopped rummaging, a screwdriver within the palm of his hand, his back turned from Gou.

He swivelled around, with his eyebrows risen, almost disappearing under the rim of his glasses. Then with a smile, he said, “I guess you saw my letter.”

“Oh – “ Gou began hesitantly, “I – well, A-Ash was just reading it aloud, and I – I was wondering…”

Clemont glanced at something outside of the frame of the screen, which Gou did not know what it was. His eyes turned back to face Gou.

“Does… Ash know? Does he realise… what my letter means?” Clemont asked him.

Gou rubbed the nape of his neck. “Um… no, I don’t think so. He doesn’t seem to…”

Clemont smiled fondly. “That makes sense. I don’t think I ever quite said the words – ‘I like you.’ I suppose… I was too shy.”

“Well,” Gou felt himself speaking, “your letter… it had so much feeling. It… I really, um, got what you were saying. “Well. I think I do. You expressed your feelings so well. I wish… I was good at that…”

He could hear Ash’s carefree laughter as his Pokemon huddled around him outside in a group hug, their cries one of a harmonious happiness.

“Oh.” Clemont simply said. “You – “

Gou watched as Ash looked over to Pikachu who was perched on his right shoulder and stroked him under his furry chin with his index finger. Pikachu cried out joyfully. It was a felicity that Gou believed if he reached out to touch, it would cut his fingers.

“You like him, too.”

Gou felt his heart race at those words spoken so succinctly, his emotions brought into the world by a simple verbalisation. He looked back towards Clemont.

“Yeah… you’re – you’re right. I do.” He confessed with a blush.

He wasn’t sure as to how Clemont would react to him now, in the newfound knowledge they liked the same person. He feared a cooler reception.

“Is that why you called me?” Clemont asked him.

“Yeah. Yeah, it is.” Gou replied honestly. “I hope you’re okay with me, calling you and telling you this…”

Clemont titled his head to the side, and Gou braced himself for the icy front. But the onslaught did not happen.

Clemont’s expression was still cordial, his smile still warm. Gou raised his eyebrows.

“Of course. I think…” Clemont began, noticing Gou’s expression, “Well, it’s really nice to meet another of Ash’s friends, and especially,” he continued looking into Gou’s eyes earnestly, “someone else who likes him like I do. That Ash has so many great qualities… so that we both like him… is something lovely. I think.”

Gou heard himself swallow. Clemont seemed to have such a quiet confidence, a maturity that he himself had not touched. He initially conjured an image of Clemont as a smooth romantic, but seeing the awkwardness of how he carried himself, the gracelessness of machines imploding behind him, that image soon shattered.

However, Clemont was so aware of the profoundness of his own feelings, that he could convey them in a letter so evocatively like that. He had opened himself to others in life, he delved within the deep pool of friendship, unafraid to sink within.

Gou… as it has been inconveniently pointed out… was on the percipes of such a grand pool. His footing felt unsure. He didn’t know how he would tell Ash how he felt.

“I – um, thank you. I guess.” Gou found his voice, which felt a little hoarse. “I…” He bit his lip. It felt so liberating to find someone to discuss this with, to navigate through the thorns of nascent feelings with his hand in someone else’s. “I was wondering… how did you know… when to send that letter, when to tell him?”

“Well, we can’t really say I told him, because he doesn’t realise…” Clemont chuckled faintly. “It sounds really irritating and very cliched… but I think it’s something you’ll know when the time comes.”

Gou grimaced a little, and Clemont grinned sheepishly, running his hand through his hair.

“Okay, okay… perhaps this will be a little more helpful if I tell you how I knew. I suppose it was coming to the end of our journey together, after the League… and I remember, lying there in bed, all the memories going through my head, and how I felt that Ash was leaving… when it all kind of clicked. And I thought, I had to write my feelings down. And send them. Even if he never would get what I meant, or realise.”

Gou nodded, wondering when he would feel that way. “Do it when you feel comfortable saying so.” Clemont told him.

He could hear a sliding door close, probably the one in the kitchen. Ash must be back from training. He knew Ash would pause for a moment, to see if there were any snacks left on the counter.

“I better go, Clemont.” Gou said to him, and added, “I’m… really, really grateful you… you were so understanding… and I feel much better. Thank you so much.”

“No worries. It’s always nice to make a new friend.” Clemont responded, which made his heart skip a beat.

“Alright, bye Gou.” Clemont waved towards him, and he waved back to the webcam. “Goodbye, Clemont. Thank you again!” he said before the line clicked and the screen went black.

The door opened. “Oh, did I just miss Clemont?” Ash asked, pouting a little. “That’s too bad… how was your call, anyways? Did he help?”

Gou smiled to himself.

“Yes he did. A lot.”

**Author's Note:**

> the quote is from kirakira ('brilliantly') which was Clemont's image song in XY, and the ending seems to show him writing a letter to Ash, so this fic was based off that idea 
> 
> my apologies about any ooc, also there was not a lot of proofreading lol oops. do let me know what you think 
> 
> you can interpret the fic a number of ways, diode/gouache or ot3 (wonder is there a name for it?)


End file.
